Can dogs and cats grieve after the loss of a loved one?
However, when it comes to an animal’s perception of grief, the emotions stem from different origins than grief in humans. Humans have the ability to think and reason at a level much higher than that of animals so we are able to conceptualise aspects about the loss of a loved one that are just not possible when pets experience a loss.
As humans, when we lose a loved one, the feeling of grief is overwhelming. We experience disbelief, anger, guilt and that cavernous sense of emptiness. Much of our grief involves memories of the little things that our loved ones use to do and the fact that such joys will never be experienced again in the future.
Pets have difficulty with the concept of ‘future’. To conceptualise a sense of ‘future’ requires a level of cognition that pets are incapable off. Thus their sense of loss when loved ones pass on is very different. To pets, the present and to a lesser extent the past is more important.
So how do pets grieve?
The most important aspect of a dog’s life is its attachment to its pack which includes its owner and other valued companion animals. Therefore, for a dog, one of the most dramatic effects of the loss of an owner or another companion pet is the change in pack hierarchy.
If the deceased owner or companion pet was a ‘leader’ in the pack, a dog can be like a rudderless ship with the engine on ‘full steam ahead’. Thus grieving dogs lack direction and become ‘mentally lost’ or in other words, anxious. For such pets, if another person, or sometimes another animal, steps in to provide strong leadership, grieving pets often improve.
Another effect of the death of an owner or in-contact animal is the dramatic break in established routine that the pet is used to. Dogs recognise repetitive events easily and therefore, changes in expected routines are often upsetting for them.
Similarly when a dog shares it life with another dog, the games they play and the continual companionship they share are essential joys that disappear when this in-contact dog dies.
What Effect Does the Mood of the Grieving Owner Have?
This grief will certainly be visible to the pet and it has a variety of effects on it.
Many dogs will move close to try to comfort the owner, but some dogs show other behaviours. Some will shun the owners and become less affectionate, and I have seen several dogs that, because of their ‘confusion’ at the owner’s grieving behaviour and the stress-related effects of loss of a mate, have become aggressive towards their owner. In other cases, dogs and cats have become quite introverted, reclusive and depressed. Grieving cats will often wail and meow mournfully as if calling their mate to them.
What Can Be Done to Help Pets that are Grieving?
There are many things that can be done to help a pet through the grieving process.
1. Establish Strong Leadership
Providing leadership gives the animal direction and purpose. Practice some gentle obedience routines by looking for opportunities where you can give your dog a gentle command. Use the Pay Up Pooch routine where, for instance, you ask your dog to ‘sit’ when it wants to come inside or go outside. Do the same when you are feeding it and even when it seeks your affection. Then be much more demonstrative in rewarding your pet responding to these commands.
If you seek your dog becoming anxious or slipping into an introverted mood, distract it by asking it to respond to some obedience commands.
2. Establish New Routines
3. Increase the Joys of Life
Play ‘brain games’ with your pet in and around your house, your yard and out on the street. Consider taking your dog to dog parks for exercise with other dogs.
Try teaching the pet a new trick or two. Hide and Seek is a useful game. Put your dog in a STAY position, sneak off to another part of the house and yard and command COME. When your dog finds you, praise it enthusiastically and romp around the yard for a short while before repeating the game.
It is likely that the therapies listed will help your pet with its grieving. However, if your pet is so upset that it cannot respond then low side-effect anti-anxiety medications could be considered.
Others also read: Pets and Euthanasia